My Final Discontent (I promise): Psychological Discontinuity

Here's my final discontent. The end of the Shouwa prequel arc—despite some really amazing and wonderful stuff—breaks the psychological continuity of the larger Mirage series. It develops Kagetora, in particular, too fast and loses the thread of where his psyche needs to be in this moment in order for his developmental trajectory to work. It also lets Naoe off too easily, which harms both their arcs.

I want to start this critique by making a guess as to what happened in Sensei's authorial process. I could be wrong, of course, but it seems the best way in to explaining what I see.

A work like Mirage is not a wholly premeditated creation. When you write something for over 25 years, you grow with it and it grows with you. I don't know how much of the main story Sensei had worked out in 1990, but I am absolutely certain that much of the depth and nuance of the psychological and relationship development happened through her living with the story over many years. There is an unfolding of understanding in Mirage that is amazing craftsmanship but is also, I think, the work of the author herself coming to understand. Lots of Mirage summary follows.

THE SHOUWA ERA

Here's what I have experienced as the trajectory she uncovered for us across the main series from Minako on (i.e. the story as I have understood it prior to the prequel's retelling). Having to fight Nobunaga while negotiating the Minako situation becomes a focal point for things going epically wrong between Naoe and Kagetora. Their relationship fractures over Kagetora's abuse and Naoe's jealousy and, to recap, it all ends up with Naoe raping and impregnating Minako, then killing her (in essence) to thrust Kagetora's soul into her body (and make him pregnant with Naoe's child) while they have to go on fighting Nobunaga to save the world and stuff. And then they all die except Irobe. It's extraordinarily traumatic, even by Kagetora trauma standards.

This is very close to the worst possible outcome for Kagetora. The only things that could have made it worse would have been a) if Nobunaga had won or b) if Naoe had died or stopped loving him. (We'll return to this.) But it's really damn bad. The woman he loves is badly abused then effectively killed by the man he needs—and it's partly his own fault. Then, he has to live on in her body, the body of a female, pregnant rape victim with the face and memories of someone he dearly loved, which is about the maximum possible quantity of triggered rape trauma plus raw guilt and grief. And the one who put him in this situation is the man he needs (I'm holding off on "loves") most in the world. Now, we all know this, but I'm reiterating it to drive home that it's really, really awful!

It's so awful that Kagetora doesn't think he can go on. He's ready to be done. He's fundamentally suicidal. But Kenshin calls him back and tells him he needs to deal with Miroku and things, and such is the depth of his need to fulfill Kenshin's expectations (and the depth his own basic moral commitment to the work) that he agrees to come back one more time, only if he can block out his memories because that's the only way he can do it.

His attitude toward Naoe through all this is best summed up as "I will never forgive you!!!!!!!!" It is, understandably, an attitude of total, raw, horrified rage.

Does Naoe fully deserve that? No. Which is one of the reasons Naoe is so angry at poor oblivious Takaya, c. 1990. He knows full well he's getting more than his share of blame. He knows that he and Kagetora both contributed to things going to hell.

But in 1961, Kagetora doesn't know that. Not really fully consciously. Yes, on some level, he knows he's also to blame. That's partly why his anger at Naoe is so virulent. Like (virtually?) all such virulent anger, it's a projection of his own anger at himself. But the whole situation is so horrifying and traumatizing that he can't look at it closely enough to analyze it or himself. He is stuck with a visceral revulsion he simply has to hide from (losing memories) or strike out against (emotionally bludgeoning Naoe).

NAOE AND TAKAYA

Fast forward past Takaya's initial, positive bonding with Naoe—which is very important, but we'll come back to it—and around volumes 7 and 8, they begin to confront the Minako era situation again. By volume 7, Naoe's nice veneer is cracking and he's showing more of his "mad dog" side (which is in many ways a return to his Minako era misbehavior), and in volume 8, Takaya gets a lot of Kagetora's memories/identity back, though I think he still doesn't have a complete memory of Minako.

Takaya's response to Naoe in volume 8 is much in keeping with his response at the end of the Minako horror ("I'll never forgive you"). For example, he says something to the effect of "Don't touch me with those filthy hands," which is partly a reference to being molested in the hotel in vol. 7 but also snaps perfectly into his attitude post-Minako's rape/death. This makes sense. It's thirty years later, but Kagetora hasn't had the opportunity to process any of this. He's been able to get some distance purely through time and loss of memory, and that helps tone down the vitriol, but it doesn't address the underlying situation. He's still in a "Naoe, it's all your fault," mode, albeit confusedly mixed with Takaya's much more open and positive desire for Naoe's emotional support and protection.

So their relationship deteriorates again. Kagetora is still angry and traumatized (especially as his memories return), as well as Naoe's more recent molestation and nasty words. Naoe is still traumatized, angry at his own behavior, angry at Kagetora's abusive strains of behavior, and so on. They both get meaner. Naoe gets so emotionally tapped out he loses his powers and eventually even his eyesight.

But at the same time, their relationship is beginning to swing in a corrective direction. And this is largely due to the reboot it got from Takaya's innocence. Takaya is able to be open to Naoe, to show need for him, in a way Kagetora previously couldn't. He is able to show the child who needs nurturing: Kagetora has always had this wounded child inside, but this is the first time he's been in a position to openly show that child to Naoe.

Now, the first manifestations of this (after Kagetora gets his memories back) are really ugly. The dynamic often takes the form of Naoe nearly raping him while Takaya vainly protests without actually using his powers to extricate himself. It's a really good example of Takaya "asking for it," and while it doesn't justify Naoe's behavior, he is asking for it. He's beginning to be unable to deny that he wants/needs Naoe, sexually as well as otherwise. It's ugly and sick but closer to honest—on both sides—than their relationship before. And towards the end of this arc, as Kagetora begins to better understand Naoe's vulnerability (physical and emotional), he takes the first steps toward openly admitting his love and promising that the two of them will find a way together.

AND THEN NAOE DIES

Then, Naoe dies. He dies while being too weak to perform kanshou anymore, so he appears to really be gone. This is the second worst thing that could happen to Kagetora, and he can't take it. So he does what he did when he couldn't take the Minako situation, he spells himself into a situation he can handle. In this case, he doesn't wipe out all his memories but only his memories of Naoe's death.

And, thus, he pathetically (but amusingly) fixes on the idea that Kotarou is Naoe. But Kotarou not only doesn't love him the way Naoe does but is one of the worst possible candidates for having to fake it, so Takaya quickly arrives at the conclusion that Naoe has ceased to love him.

And this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to him.

It is the fruition of his worst fears, fears he has battled against for most of four hundred years. His fragile sense of adequacy has been almost completely founded on Naoe's hero worship. Naoe obsesses over him, aspires to be him, and this gives him concrete evidence that he's not the failure he thinks he is. When that obsessing stops, that evidence is gone and his self-esteem plummets. This situation is then made even worse by Kenshin abandoning him and demoting him and by his increasing inability to control his own powers.

In this arc, Kagetora pretty much cracks up. But he's also forced to face himself as he never has before. He faces the fact that he feels worthless, the idea that no one truly loves him (enough) or is ultimately there for him. He identifies very cogently his core problem: that there is a black void in his psyche where his self-esteem should be and that he desperately seeks someone to love him so that this void feels filled. And in the midst of this self-analysis, he revisits what happened with Minako.

Now, he is able consciously to identify his own culpability: that he goaded Naoe into hurting Minako, pretty much knowing it would happen; that his first response upon hearing that Minako was pregnant was satisfaction at "getting" Naoe; even that he had a degree of satisfaction in finding himself pregnant with Naoe's child. This is some fucked up stuff, and his being able to articulate it is the culmination of a long, hard journey toward self-perception.

So then, in a nutshell, things get worse, the resurrected Naoe rescues Takaya from near certain death, and we arrive at volume 20.

VOLUME 20

Volume 20 is the turning point of the entire series. It opens with Kagetora at rock bottom and initiates his swing upward into psychological health. For four hundred years, Naoe and Kagetora have been locked in a bizarre struggle for victory over each other. In volume 20, Kagetora confesses Naoe has won, and Naoe says, in essence, it doesn't matter. Thus, that four hundred year chapter closes, though echoes of it will persist for a while. And, yes, they have sex, and that's important in many ways, but most particularly, I think, because it signifies Kagetora beginning to overcome much of his shame: shame at losing control, at being subordinated, degraded, beast-like, emotionally needy, rape victim shame, and so on.

POST-VOLUME 20

Post-volume 20 we find Kagetora, and to a lesser extent Naoe, in a psychological upswing into a healthy relationship. It has some false starts and pitfalls, and a lot of pain surrounding Kagetora's impending soul demise. But the essence of the transformation is this:

Naoe has shown Kagetora that he is fundamentally lovable, not for what he can do but for who he is.

Having really internalized this, Kagetora can progressively develop a healthy sense of self-worth.

Having developed this self-worth, he needs Naoe less—but, by that token, he loves Naoe better. His behavior toward him is much improved.

Thus, Naoe, also becomes more validated in himself and his relationship with Kagetora. They both become more selfless, and Naoe is ultimately able to (sort of) face Kagetora's death and discover a way to go on. The End.

Not a perfect story, but a really amazingly well-executed psychological arc for Kagetora and, to lesser but still amazing extent, Naoe.

HOW THE PREQUEL'S ENDING TRIPS THIS UP

In essence, it moves the psychological development we see around volumes 10-17 (roughly) to thirty years earlier. Kagetora can already articulate the black void in the center of his psyche. He already knows he's largely to blame for goading Naoe into his crimes. He's already mostly forgiven Naoe for it. (So apparently does Haruie, really quickly?) Kagetora's doppelganger forces him to confront his love and sexual urges for Naoe.

So complete is Kagetora's coming to terms with his love for Naoe and his own complicity in the debacle that he orients his decision to lose his memories largely around being able to start things over with Naoe so they can have their love and so on. (I'm okay with the idea that this was a motive; minds are complicated. I'm not okay with it being the main conscious motive.)

And all of this largely renders something like volumes 7-17? 19? unnecessary. Kase—and immediately post-Kase Kagetora—already has all the psychological maturity and insight that Takaya had to go through Naoe's death, Kotarou-Naoe, falling for Kaizaki, Kenshin's abandonment, and being kicked out of the Uesugi to attain. He already knows as a consequence of his third worst trauma what he later learns all over again from his two greatest traumas. This just doesn't track narratively.

But it makes a lot of sense as a tendency Sensei might have as an author going back to write this story after writing all of Mirage. She is necessarily writing from the perspective of having already processed the Minako crisis and gone through all the analysis that leads to a healthier, more self-aware Kagetora—and it's not surprising that's the Kagetora she writes. But it's not who he is in this era. And making him into that person too soon undercuts his emotional development to the point that I can't suspend my disbelief for it.

AND NOW NAOE:

I've described Mirage here much in terms of Kagetora, but Naoe has a powerful arc too. One of the main journeys he needs to make is toward coming to terms with his crimes against Minako and Kagetora. This is harrowing for him, so much so that young Yoshiaki is quasi-suicidal and slitting his wrists, so much so that he truly believes he's a "mad dog."

Naoe's journey, too, is undercut here but far too many messages that read, "It's not that bad." He rapes Minako, but it doesn't upset her for long. (This has always been an issue.) It doesn't really upset super-mature Kagetora all that much either, considering the nature of the crime. It doesn't even upset Haruie all that much in that she bounces back into being on decent terms with Naoe very fast. Minako forgives him for essentially killing her. (This, too, has always been an issue.) Kagetora is surprisingly calm about being thrust into Minako's body.

And here's the kicker: we have a retcon (in that sense that it was never implied before) in which Naoe sticks Kagetora in Minako's body by accident. This robs his character of much of the moral culpability on which his character development and the fracturing of his relationship with Kagetora rests. There was no need for this. He didn't have to have it in for Minako. He could have just reasoned, split second, as the story previously implied, that she was the only available body. Kagetora can't be a fetus; he needs to fight Nobunaga, and his life is more important than Minako's: QED. It's understandable; it's in character, and it requires him to face what he has, in fact, chosen to do. This version took that away and contributed greatly to the narrative of "it's not that bad."

It is that bad. Not only because doing extremely nasty things to women should not be excusable by default, but because Naoe's and Kagetora's trajectories as characters rest on having the wrestle with the extreme badness of these acts. Robbed of that degree of seriousness, their journeys lose their psychological weight and realism. And that weight and realism is what makes Mirage great.

ON A HAPPIER NOTE

All the said, there is much I really appreciate about these prequels. The early parts of the story are fascinating and compelling, nice fleshing out of previous bits and hints. And even in the later parts, there is much I like. And I do like much of the writing of Kagetora in Minako's body. I wish it were more raw, but I like much of how it shows his processing. (I'm going with "his" because I think his gender identity is still male.) I am glad Sensei wrote this. I think she's probably right it's time for her to stop. But Mirage overall remains a work of genius.