Gentle afternoon sunlight poured into the tiny park tucked into a narrow slip between old apartment buildings just off main street.

Natsumi had slipped out during her lunch break carrying a bento for two. Chiaki had arranged their meeting this time. Pigeons circled their feet, hunting for crumbs, as they ate their lunch.

“Thank you, it was delicious,” Chiaki said, closing the lid of the tupperware and taking a drink of his bottled Japanese tea. “Your bentos are the best. Especially the rolled omelets.”

“Are you being sarcastic?” Natsumi pouted.

The back of the omelets was burned, and not just slightly. Chiaki continued to poke fun as Natsumi licked the tip of her chopsticks and closed her tupperware as well.

“I’m so sorry about the other day, Shuuhei. I don’t know why I said all that weird stuff...”

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it.”

“Amnesia can affect your day-to-day behavior, and brain damage can even change people’s personalities. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m so happy just to know that you’re alive, Shuuhei.”

Chiaki looked at her with gentle eyes while Natsumi lowered her gaze.

“I think you got a little depressed after Mom married Step-father... You refused to listen to either of them, and they didn’t know how to handle you. You loved our father so much, and you opposed their marriage through rebellion.”

“...”

“You couldn’t forgive Mom for remarrying less than two years after his death. You had a huge fight with Step-father that day. In the end you hit him and ran out of the house. Everyone went out to look for you, but we couldn’t find you anywhere.”

The bright windless warmth of the afternoon sun didn’t feel like winter. Natsumi continued, her gaze on the flock of pigeons pecking at her feet, “That’s why I was kinda glad you didn’t remember that day. I’m sorry, Shuuhei. But both Mom and Step-father really do want you to come home. Yoshiki, too.”

“Are you in love with him?” Natsumi gave Chiaki a startled look. Chiaki smirked. “You’re in love with our step-brother, aren’t you?”

“...Oh boy. Am I that obvious?” Natsumi’s cheeks tinted faintly with embarrassment. “I guess I am. From the very first time we met, actually. That’s why I wasn’t opposed to Mom remarrying—it would mean that we could all live together. It made me feel guilty towards you.”

“It’s fine, isn’t it? I don’t know what the law says, but you’re not actually related by blood.”

“He’d never want me. I mean, he’s an adult.”

“So?” Chiaki gave her a smile small. “You’re more attractive than you realize.”

“Guess you’ve learned flattery, at least,” Natsumi retorted wryly, blushing. “So, New Year’s is over, but there’s still the burning of New Year’s gate decorations on the 15th. How about we go home for that?”

Chiaki’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Burning of New Year’s gate decorations—urg! ...Um, I guess you don’t remember, huh? It’s also called ’Dondo,” where we take all our New Year’s decorations to the shrine and burn it in a great big bonfire. It’s pretty awesome. We would roast rice cakes—you always liked that. I’ll go too, it’ll be like a little pilgrimage back home. You don’t have to live there or anything, but Mom would really like to see you. So..."

Chiaki said nothing. He only gave Natsumi a look full of fondness before deliberately standing.

“Be happy, Onee-sannee-san (姉さん)

Also: "onee-san (お姉さん)", "onee-sama (お姉さま)", "onee-chan (お姉ちゃん)", "nee-sama (姉さま)", "nee-san (姉さん)", "nee-chan (姉ちゃん)", "ane-ue (姉上)"

"Older sister"—like nii-san, one of those very simple terms which is unfortunately difficult to translate because of the differences in usage between English and Japanese. In Japanese, it is much more natural to call your (older) sister "nee-san" or "onee-san" rather than by their given name. It connotates a degree of respect and at the same time a certain closeness. ("Onee-sama" indicates more formality; "ane-ue" indicates even more formality, i.e. "honorable sister"; "onee-chan" indicates less familiarity.)

One can also use "onee-san" to refer politely to an unrelated slightly older female.

In Mirage of Blaze, Takaya initially calls Ayako "Onee-san" (actually, "おねーさん") and later "Nee-san" ("ねーさん"), which has a somewhat slangy feel to it, and might actually be translated as "Sis" if it had the same rough connotation as "Bro".. Live without regret.”

“Shuuhei?”

“You have only one life. So don’t waste it on regret.”

“Wait...! Where are you going, Shuuhei?”

She quickly stood and grabbed Chiaki’s shirt. Chiaki turned and placed his hands on her shoulders, bending so he could meet her eyes on an equal level.

“There’s just one thing I need to apologize to you about, Natsumi-san.”

“Wha...?”

“I’ve realized that I shouldn’t have simply looked on like a god of Death; I should have stepped in... For your sake, if not his.”

Natsumi looked puzzled. Pained, Chiaki bowed his head to her. “For not stopping him...I am sorry.”

Natsumi didn’t understand, of course. Chiaki exhaled a long breath and looked deep into her eyes. She felt caught, unable to look away.

“Farewell.”

He hypnotized her with the intention of erasing himself and the past few days completely from her memory. It would have been the best course. It was what he should have done from the start. What good would it do her to keep these memories of a false ‘Shuuhei’? None—was Chiaki’s conclusion. Better to have these memories fade away under hypnosis.

Her lips moved, trying to say something.

Chiaki’s eyes flew wide. He realized that Natsumi was resisting, though unconsciously.

“Natsumi-san.”

He lost his focus, and the hypnosis unraveled. Natsumi came back to herself to see Chiaki smiling wryly in self-mockery.

“Shuuhei.”

“Sorry, Onee-san. I can’t go home with you.”

“Why?”

“I’m traveling abroad as an humanitarian volunteer and probably won’t be back for a while. It’s honest work, so don’t worry. I’ll contact you when I get back.”

“Really? You’ll remember?”

“Of course,” Chiaki responded, smiling broadly. “When I get back I’ll want to eat your bento again. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Shuuhei.”

“See you, Onee-san.”

Natsumi felt no lie in Chiaki’s cheerful words. She nodded earnestly. “I’ll be waiting!”

The pigeons took flight.

Chiaki parted from Natsumi beneath the gentle winter sun.

They did not say goodbye.

“Why did you stop?” Takaya asked on the limited express train back to MatsumotoMatsumoto City (松本市)

The largest city in Nagano Prefecture, Matsumoto is surrounded by mountains and is acclaimed for its beautiful views.. Chiaki took the partially consumed plastic bottle from his lips. “You were going to erase her memories, weren’t you?”

“... Eh. Who knows?” Chiaki answered, gazing out the window at Yatsugatake Mountain Range crowned with brilliant white clouds standing in stark relief from the blue sky. “I just thought she’d be happier this way.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“...”

“Was it because of what you felt for her?”

“I told you, I don’t do unrequited love.”

So long as he inhabited his body, any confession from him would only dismay and distress Natsumi. And if he told her he was ‘someone else,’ he would have to explain what had happened to her brother.

“Anyone would grieve if they were told ‘your brother committed suicide.’”

“Chiaki...”

“I don’t want to make her cry...”

Right or wrong didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was that he cared for her.

“Besides, I don’t want her to hate me. Guess that makes me kinda despicable.”

He could not be around Natsumi lest he fell even deeper for her, so he had left. But he hadn’t erased her memories. He likely had to admit to ulterior motives for that—but on the other hand, Natsumi had carried a dark and heavy burden of guilt for her lost brother. Surely knowing that her brother was alive, even if she never saw him again, had eased that burden at least a little bit, would continue to bolster her in the future?

“She might worry, but telling her that her brother was going to live overseas will at least give her a seed of hope.”

“...”

“She won’t be sad. She’ll remember his smile as they parted, and she won’t fall into depression. Doesn’t everyone want to imagine the woman they love smiling? ...So it’s all right, isn’t it?”

“Chiaki.”

Chiaki’s candidness gave Takaya an amorphous sense of deja-vu.

Yatsugatake filled the windows, its upper half covered with snow like a white veil.

“Is this your ‘freedom,’ then?” Takaya asked quietly.

Chiaki snorted a laugh. “If nobody can save us from this reality, I will gulp it down.” They swayed comfortably with the train’s motion over the tracks. Chiaki’s gaze returned to the mountain peaks as he sing-songed, “...’Cause I am wind.”